mardi 5 octobre 2010

Winslow Coughlin - Draft.

I said "will you marry me?"
She laughed. Hard. 
She said : "Cut the crap Win, that's the last thing you should have said. I'm off now."
And off she went, humming ironically, "Two dogs, two cats, a big kitchen and a welcome mat."
And that's the last I heard of her. And I did not really mean it. That was just some stupid way of sayin' "I love you."

She never came back. Had she kissed me before leaving I wouldn't have resented her. Not as much. 

I thought she would come back though, she always said I meant the world to her. I guess one can just switch world if the need arises. 
I wasn't sad, I just felt a little dead inside. I looked for her, but she had just vanished. That's the thing about crazy people, it's ok to pet them when they fancy curling up at you feet. But forget the collar. Forget the handcuffs. These bonds are shackle free, these bonds are shackle free...

I stayed round a bit, then sold most of my stuff, dafty Del down Camden Town bought my bass. Fuck knows if he even knows you have to plug it to play it. A waste, a total waste I guess. Just kept my camera and a few leather books, the ones she had found for me. And the bracelet too. Talk about shackles... 
And off I went to.... God knows where, or what for. 

I'm free after all, and "Freedom" is the word for "Nothing left to lose."


---------------------------


She always said she loved me because I was too crazy to be really bad. I'm not crazy. I'm not bad either. I'm the quiet type, the one that just stays in the corner and reads. The nice chap. I never knew why the Tornado would set her mind on me in the first place. She pushed me up, not saying anything, just being there, I would do crazy things for her, because, because... it just seemed like that's what she was expecting from me. 
And it was nice, putting all my dreams into flesh. Something tangible. I became myself, not the shadow of my dreams, just because she was looking at me, with those damn yellow eyes. Piercing through, seeing I was worth something, putting me down with her sharp tongue and looking at me, climbing up to her again. She made me strong, she made me real. And then I was standing alone.  
Not only a nice chap, but a bit inside out. Glowing with will. I wouldn't be able to describe it. 
She was rude, and proud, and violent, she broke me a thousand times just to see how my guts looked like. 

And then she left. 

I guess I'll just keep going. She made me strong. Strong enough to be myself without her. 

2 commentaires:

Oriane a dit…

Si j'ai bien (presque) tout compris, très joli texte (je sais c'est nul comme adjectif mais je n'ai as beaucoup de vocabulaire).

Nefisa a dit…

C'est l'histoire de ma future poupée.

(j'aime quand tu lèves les yeux au ciel en soupirant. )

(bisous poilus)